Suck on that.

I am so ridiculously sick of my little sister getting away with everything! Like SERIOUSLY?! She gets away with everything! If i do one thing wrong it's like "REBECCA! DONT BE SO RUDE!" sorry did you not here what that thing just saud to me?! Obviously not!! ugghhh. Rant over :)

There's something about you...

Ok so im not really one for flirting or anything but look what you do to me! I mean i love it... I really, really love it and i think I really really love you. I have never felt this way about anyone before. No one else gives me those wonderful butterflies that me away to magical happy places where everything just feels right. Everything is wonderful and beautiful and perfect just like you are to me <3. I find it so so difficult to put it into words how much you actually mean to me. I know i wont to be with you all the time and spend every second of the day thinking about you and only you. You own the key to my lost little heart. Since i started talking to you my heart has slowly started to reapear and open out and feel happy things. I thankyou for that.

PS. Did i mention i love you :)

Two mommies

Recently i was thinking to myself how it would be so lovely to have to mums; it would be absoloutely great to have people who really cared about me that would apprieciate who i am. I guess there is only one person who does truly apprieciate who i really am. I'm not even sure she does properly, but out of the many people i know this one girl just seems to get me more than the others. Maybe it's because we are both gay, maybe it's because we both want the same things out of life. Maybe it's because i understand you. What ever it is i really apprieciate the time you spend texting me, helping me. For letting me love you. even though it's not easy for either of us. Ofcourse i would absoloutely love it if you liked me the same way but... i guess thats just life right? Anyhow i dont think now, after all what i have felt for you, i could stop liking you all together. No matter what you did.

Bugger, im getting off track. See what you do to me!!! Anyway so two mommies: would be amazing and i have a great idea in my head of what and who they would be. Maybe Like bette and tina, but i think i'd like or more butch mommy maybe. :/ I just dont know. Anyway that's my little rant for the night :D

My secrets.

Kinda inspired from the recent videos i watched but since i forgot my password i thought id do it on this.

1) I don't like talking. :/

2) Words cant describe how i feel about little ren <3

3) I have a disturbed sleeping rutine :(

4) I have a crush on my teacher :$

5) I'm a real gay :')

6) I'm very shy... in front of some

7) I love to learn 8)


Well thats it for now. But trust me there are others!
:)

ps. dont tell anyone :)!

Hurts like never before.

Just when i thought things were getting better for me. Parents stopped fighting, i stopped hurting myself, you started to like me. I completely mess things up. I make my parents mad at me for something i didnt even do, then i get called a cow and a bitch and a shit person by my very own mother! Then i like try and kill myself, dont ask, and i really top it all off by messing things up with well this girl lets just say. I guess ill just give this whole love thing a rest. I'll give you a rest. And i guess ill be giving myself a rest too.

You really dont know how much you hurrt me sometimes, without even meaning to. but either way i still love you, no matter what. And wether its love love or like a family i just dont know i havnt quite figured it out, i havent quite figured myself out.

I guess im writing this down because i know noone will read it.:

Before i die i want to:
Have a good friendship with you
I want to have at least kissed you, and you me, even if it was just once on the cheek
I want to be happy
And i want you to be happy
I guess there is more but my eyes are filled with tears and i cant see what im writing anymore.

You learn something new everyday...

Well apparently you learn something new everyday so just to prove it right or wrong im gonna right mine on here. Here goes....

Today i learned...number 1

There are some very beautiful people out there, but not just looks, personality. I learned this today when i recieved that message from harlee.
I havnt even met the girl yet im telling her my secrets trusting her, she gave me her number, i know quite a lot about her to say ive talked to her on facbook like twice.
Anyway i can tell she is beautiful because she is so understanding easy to talk to and best of all lesbian ;) I do love a good lesbian, and she looks rather naice aswell;)

ps: i do learn more than just one thing but im not gonna tell you about algebra or spanish haha

Auntie martine :')

Well marty what can i say. You made the first 10 years of my life. You were the beautiful one, but not in looks, your personality, your soul. When the angels came to pick you up i new you would stay with me even though you were far away, but you have come back. I can feel our presense. I never really believed in the whole coming back from the dead but you did it. You achieved what i thought impossible.

The wierd thing is marty you new didnt you. You new i was gonna be gay. Just like you. Thats why you left me the bracelet, and the letter and the love in my heart.

I hate to brake it to you, but noone misses you. They all think you were dirty, even ali! Shocked? I am. You made me so happy and i really really miss you. Now i write this blog and i cry, because i miss you, noone else does. I didnt even get to go to your funeral! But i was there. In my heart. And in yours. We both know that.

Lately I have been thinking about this other girl alot. She is rather beautiful, im sure you would agree. She doesnt know really how much i love her, Im sure i love her she says i will know when i am in love and im not now, but if this isnt love i dont know what is. Sometimes i think i love her more than family more than anyone.

Anyway i just thought i would write this so you know i do love you and i think about you!

LOVE YOU!

Ps: She really is beautiful and gorguess and beasty!

P.p.s i have a friend at school that says beasty! It reminded me soo much of you <3